AnHeC (I'm too fucking busy and vice versa)

Word count: didn't care enough to estimate (not too long, though)

Rating: Only if I'm stranded on an island and there's nothing else to read (like a dictionary, 'cause I'll take a dictionary over this any day)

*ARC provided by NetGalley

I didn't feel like writing a review when I've finished this. Two weeks (or so) has passed and I still don't want to do it. I guess I have to accept that the desire to review this one won't come. Ever. And just force myself to type a few coherent sentences.

I didn't like this book. I didn't like it at all. It didn't have me enraged or anything. It's simply not enjoyable.

Writing:

Awkward as a duck. A blind duck. A blind crippled duck. A blind crippled duck on acid. A blind crippled duck on acid made of jello that feeds on lost hopes and dreams. I'm not impressed.

Main character/s:

a tall, bony storyteller in his 40's (or something)

+ his sidekick: a crippled fisherman that is very lonely and lost everything and now is just like 'fuck me' 'fuck you' 'fuck everybody' and is an impatient idiot with no self control

When you put a storyteller in your book and he tells some stories that you, the author, actually relate to the reader, you better be a fucking amazing writer to pull it off. It's really hard to write a charismatic bard. It is. So if you can't do it, don't try. Can you taste it? That's my disappointment. You made me weep embarrassment for you. Congratulations.

Story:

Just fuck you. Boring as shit. And as unoriginal as possible.

Additionally I didn't give a flying fuck about anything or anyone. There was no time (or reason) to like/connect/start caring about any of that stupid shit.

And that book has no point. As far as I know it's not a part of a series. Meaning the whole, boring fucking thing that came out of nowhere is going to the 'nope' land.

Oh, wait, it is a first part of a prospective series? Well, I can't fucking wait for the second instalment (did you feel my sarcasm slap you across the face? DID YOU? Good.)

Conclusion:

It didn't make me angry. Just fed up with everything and everyone. God, it reads like something I could've written. When I was 15. In fact, I'm pretty sure my stories were better than this.

My advice:

stay away from this one.