AnHeC

AnHeC (I'm too fucking busy and vice versa)

Hi! My name is Anna, "You'd really like me if you got to know me. I've known me for years and I love me."

Grammar Carnage! + awkward sentences (logic is hard)

Real  - Katy Evans

 

Example of awkward: "She grabs my face and swings my gaze in the direction of the ring, but I start laughing instead"

 

EDIT (because I just can't ignore it...): Just after thinking about how she's different from her friend, that she doesn't chase guys, doesn't date and doesn't want to date:

 

"He has black hair, standing up sexily as if women have just had their fingers there. Cheekbones as strong as his jaw and forehead. Lips that are red-kissed and swollen, and as a souvenir from his walk to the ring there's lipstick on his jaw. I look down his long, lean body and something hot and wild settles in my core".

 

There are so many things wrong with this one little paragraph... Eh. Do I need to discuss it? Nah. You can deal with it on your own.

 

 

"Hammer throws the first punch. Remington evades it with a smart duck, and he comes back up with a full swing that connects and knocks Hammer’s face to the side. I inwardly flinch at the power in his punch; my body clenches at the sight of his muscles contracting and tensing, working and releasing, with each punch he delivers."

 

 

"As the fight progresses, my nipples strain, even more puckered and tighter, against my top, pushing anxiously against the silk of the fabric. Somehow watching Remington Tate pound a man (now that's ambiguous) they call “Hammer” makes me squirm in my skirt in a way I don’t like, much less ever expected." ( I won't underline everything that's wrong, since that would be... Everything.)

 

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR GRAMMAR?! WHAT'S WRONG WITH REPETITIONS, AWKWARD STRUCTURES, ILLOGICAL REACTIONS...

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