AnHeC (I'm too fucking busy and vice versa)

Word count: about 104 000
Rating: Let me rub against your cover
* It's more of a 3,5*



A book with a strong start and a good drive all the way through.

MC’s past is full of drama. I like a good, tortured past. The fact that Clay and Tally knew each other as kids helped the believability of their relationship. They have a connection. People that grew up together in difficult circumstances do form stronger bonds than happy kids. Extreme conditions tend to strengthen the bond.

Angela, I don’t think she’s been resisting him for too long. Half of the book describes like first two days of their reunion. It’s not a long time. And given her past I’d even dare to say some things were too easy. She’s been raped as a child. Repeatedly. That shit stays with you. All the sex she had with other man was a form of self induced punishment; she didn’t enjoy it, went to the same headspace as she did as a child. I know she trusts Clay and has a connection with him, but body doesn’t forget that sort of TRAUMA easily. As far as sex with Clay is concerned she had no hang-ups. None. Not even a moment of fear or nervousness. It was very smooth. Their relationship wasn’t too slow either. She began to trust him very quickly. The good thing is – it was GRADUAL. I loved that she didn’t just drop her fears completely 5 minutes into the conversation.

Females of DarkRiver don’t trust her. I’ve enjoyed that little piece of hypocrisy immensely. I love how self-righteous Sascha and Faith are. Bitches be crazy. A nice touch. Perfect characters are boooriiiing.

The only thing that really got on my nerves, was Tally’s question: “Why doesn’t she like me?” Bitch, the right question is “why does she dislike me?” or “what does she have against me?”, as liking someone takes, oh, let me think, knowing them? For more than 10 seconds? Given her past she should be used to people not being immediately taken with her. It was one little thing that annoyed me. And she said it a few times. *reaching for a rock*


BUT!
Well, I’m already holding a rock, so might as well throw it at someone. WHY THE VIRGINITY MYTH? AGAIN! Now, Tally had had sex with other man as a young woman. Why does it have to be such a huge thing for him to forgive her (why she did it and what it meant for her is not the point here)? They were kids. She shouldn’t have felt obliged to wait for him… I love the fact that changeling woman are, let’s say ‘free of sexual shaming’. Before mating they have as much sex as man and it’s considered normal, healthy. Clay even admits that never before has he held such behaviors against a woman. As far as we know he had sex with many partners, but apparently in his case that’s ok, no hard feelings, yet for Tally it has to be a HUGE issue. He gets furious, sees it as a betrayal and she has to repeatedly apologize for it AND feel guilty about it. That issue persisted throughout the WHOLE BOOK (practically form chapter one) till the very end, when she just HAD to say (it’s all from one conversation):


“I wish…I wish I’d waited for you,” she said without warning, her anguish so raw it crashed into him with the force of a tidal wave. “I know we’re okay now, but I wish I could wipe out the past[…]”

Her hand fisted against his. “But what about what I did? You must think about it,” she insisted, voice thick with tears she refused to shed. “You must get angry sometimes.”[…]

“How can you forget?” she asked in her stubborn, determined way, the same way she loved him. “You were so mad—”

“It wasn’t easy,” he admitted. [bla bla bla, he’s reassuring her]



When you add to the mix realizationthat she didn’t enjoy the sex she had, that it was a way to hurt herself, the slut shaming is just sick. Why can’t we ever have a heroine that had a few healthy, full of love, relationships in the past? Why even if she’s not a virgin per se, she has to be innocent and/or ashamed of her ‘promiscuity’? Why wasn’t she mad at Clay for his sexual endeavors? Why does he believe he has any claim on her sexuality, even though (view spoiler)WTF?

THAT lsat thing made me furious. But that aside it was an amazing book. There was less action here than in the previous ones. The focus was on the relationship and its dynamics. In general I've enjoyed that book very much. I do understand that feelings don't have to make sense. That people aren't perfect, but it should have been shown she didn't have anything to be guilty about (even if feeling that sort of negative emotions is very believable)